Go Be Fit!

This year I discovered the appeal and utility of hats. A decent fedora makes me look business like –  an I don’t mess around type of woman, a newsboy – spunky, hip and fun, a baseball cap – gritty and tough – a slugger at heart! Beantown is a hat wearing town – loyal to the Sox. I wear a hat just because I can! I don’t have to be a fan!

I attibute this new discovery to growing my hair this year. I have thick wavy shoulder length hair now that gets in my way when I do yoga or exercise. Since I don’t like hair in my face, I have given in to wearing hats to control my reticent locks.  

I always envied people who could wear a hat and look good! In the past, hats were never my thing. They annoyed me because they never fit right. Now they make hats especially to fit a woman’s head! Since I was a kid I grew up wearing a sweatband around my forehead. They were handy and comfortable. It must have been the influence of the great tennis stars of the 70’s like Bjorn Borg.  Today we have choices when it comes to hats, althletic clothing has become much more functional with breathable materials like cool max. Now I’m getting off track. There’s nothing like a “dri-fit” visor out on the golf course or a baseball cap protecting my precious head from the sun’s rays!

This week I joined Facebook. A good friend convinced me. I must admit that I was leery at first. I have had so many requests to join other business networks such as Plaxo and Linked In.  I flinch when some distant contact that I met once or barely remember sends me an invitation. I imagine getting sucked into a web that will require the hiring of extra administrative staff just to keep in contact with all of these close and distant contacts. Therefore I refrain from joining these groups because I fear that I will spend too much time “loitering,” there. I don’t have anything against this type of networking and maybe I am missing the point. For now I just don’t think that they are for me.

Now Facebook, is a different story. I find that it is wonderful to be able to stay connected to friends, family and colleagues without the pressure or formalities of these other networks. In this case, I like the KISS format – keep it simple stupid -that it actually works! I don’t plan on friending large amounts of people, even though I would love to because I truly enjoy people. Who knows what my future with Facebook holds for me? Maybe I’ll find my long lost best friend who moved to England when I was in High School? I already checked and she is not on Facebook!!!!

Yesterday I went for a bike ride. I hadn’t been on my road bike for more than a year. The breeze, the sun and air was invigorating as I rode, free like a kid. Biking makes me feel like a kid again! There is something liberating about cycling – perhaps it is the rhythm that gets you in the flow – the zone. That’s it – yesterday I was in perfect flow again!

I let the bike take me to where it wanted. I rode without a destination – unplanned – without an agenda. I wasn’t concerned with how fast, how hard or how far I was riding. I just wanted to ride. Fully present in the activity – my mind was clear – my body relaxed – my mood uplifted. I didn’t have a care. I left all of my concerns at home. I was just glad to be out on my bike again!

Lately a number of women are telling me that they want Michelle Obama’s arms. What’s the craze over her arms I wonder to myself. I google a photo and look at them. They are a pair of arms like any others. What is wrong with our own body? Why do we strive to look like someone else or someone else’s ideal of what we should look like or be for that matter?

Body image is a sensitive subject for most women. Men are joining our ranks on this issue. Most women I work with have or continue to struggle with body image. Ask any women young or old, and she’ll find something dissatisfying with her body. The self-deprecating and disparaging comments I hear as a trainer do little to build confidence, self-respect and self esteem: My butt is too big, my arms are jiggly, my thighs are large, my stomach is a muffin top and more! The litany over the imperfections of the body is endless and relentless.  What kind of relationship is this to have with oneself?

It pains me to hear women berate themselves over their appearance, their looks – their body. In most cases their body is healthy and has served them well for a number of years.  At 52, I am grateful for all of the wonderful things that my body can do – drive a golf ball far- lift weights – take me on great hikes – give me and my significant other wonderful pleasure, the list goes on. No other woman’s arms or body will suffice but mine!

 

My husband and I went for a stroll along Revere Beach this afternoon. We needed a change of scenery and didn’t want to drive far, so we settled on Revere. This beach shares it’s place in history because it is the first public beach in the country. Even though it lies in the flight path to Logan, there is something charming about this beach. I think it is because of the  diverse and friendly array of people it draws.

As a kid, my family used to take day trips to Crane’s Beach in Ipswich. We would leave in the early morning, all four kids huddled in our hot station wagon, my Mom and Dad in the front seat, trying to keep the peace! We would return in the evening, tired and sunburned from a full day at Crane’s.

I can close my eyes and see myself – the little girl, playing in the sand, savoring the feel of it and the ice cold water. Do something special for yourself to recharge and reconnect with parts of your past – go for a summer stroll! Beaches tend to bring out the playful child in me – I wish I’d brought my pail and shovel.

When my voice falters or breaks (at the passagio), I hear the wisdom of my voice teacher spinning in my head. “You’ve got to tolerate being bad to become good.” As a student of opera I am learning non-judgemental awareness of all that is happening in the here and now (my weekly voice lesson). This is also a wonderful life skill to develop the ability to be open to whatever arises without judgement or judging the experience.

I am applying this same principle/wisdom to golf or any fitness/athletic endeavor for that matter. Being a good athlete, I am not used to being “bad,” in this case – golf. On the contrary – I am used to being capable that I can easily learn most sports – golf is the exception. Here is where I have the opportunity to give myself permission to be bad in order to improve. This approach frees me of the pressure of needing to be instantly great – perfect. It is a lesson in humility – being with what is in the moment of the song, the tee shot or challenges of living.

I see people in my group exercise class struggling and putting so much pressure on themselves to be perfect. Here is another pearl of wisdom from my voice teacher that is derived from Buddhism, “Perfection is death.”

Would it be possible to for all of us to tolerate being bad in order to learn, to be curious and open to becoming better at whatever it is that we desire to do?

First you are up and then you are down, such is the inconsistent sport of golf. Double bogey – triple bogey even the professionals have bad rounds. There is comfort in knowing that “golf is not a game of perfect,” the fitting book title of noted sports psychologist Bob Rotella.  Great – since golf is not a game of perfect, now I am off the hook. I can be OK with the idiosyncracies of my golf game.

Today for example I missed a number of shots and lost my cool for a brief moment. I swung my club wildly like a baseball bat in a fit of frustration. (No one was nearby). I laughed and asked my friend, “Are there any ill tempered professional golf players the likes of John McEnroe or Jimmy Conners?” (Sorry guys – there must be some women as well.) My friend didn’t recall and neither did I. I do however have fond memories of my favorite tennis stars throwing tantrums.

Today I was not going to throw a tantrum. First of all, I am a grown woman and second of all it is only golf. As most golfers will say, “You can not take this game too seriously!” I couldn’t agree more.

The sun is back. For awhile I thought that it was gone for good. The grey rainy days began to wear on me. Summer is supposed to be warm and sunny not cold, windy and rainy! Hopefully this glorious weekend brings the start of summer fun.

I got up early this morning to meet a friend for a 9 hole golf game on a beginner course in Norfolk. Today I am an official  newbie golfer. We conveniently lost our score card and were quite forgiving of our mulligans, missed putts, and chip shots.  We did play the last 2 holes quite well though.

Now that I have played 9 holes I have much admiration for those who succeed to keep their sanity learning and playing this hard game.  Luckily I have a wonderful sense of humor, which allows me to laugh at my mistakes while searching for balls that I had no chance of finding. Like life golf throws challenges at you and you have no choice but to figure them out and make them work. At least the sun kept the shine on our game!

 

It has only been two months since I have learned how to golf and I am now officially addicted.

Here are a few signs:

I watch the golf channel instead of renting great movies

I go to the driving range 2 – 3 times a week to practice my swing

I search the Internet for 9 hole par 3 courses near my home

I talk incessantly about my newfound love to anyone who will listen

I read golf magazines in waiting rooms

I compare golf to the lessons of life – challenging and providing opportunities for growth

I imagine myself retiring someday soon and playing golf every day

It seems like the month of June is going to be a washout. The rain doesn’t want to go away! Every time we get a little respite and the sun peaks through the overcast, I find myself outside gazing to the sky. Usually this time of year the weather is more compliant, a bit more predictable for New England. I find myself needing to be flexible and just go with the flow – in this case the weather patterns.

I am doing my best not to let the weather derail my exercise plans. On Monday even though it was raining right up to my golf lesson I decided not to cancel. Low and behold as I was practicing putting the rain suddenly stopped! A miracle – it stopped for my entire lesson. I would have endured the rain if it was a drizzle or a shower. I don’t think that I would have been able to golf in a downpour.

Don’t let the weather get you down. Do your best to get out and do what you enjoy. If it’s running – go for a run, biking – get on the bike – golf – go to the driving range. Of course – you want to be safe and sensible when exercising in inclement weather. We can appreciate that the weather teaches us to be mentally resilient. We get out despite the rain and we feel that much better than staying indoors moaning and groaning about it.