As this year comes to a close I sigh deeply with relief, and say, “Adios – it’s over!” Ever have a day or a week where you are faced with challenge upon challenge that you think won’t end? You wonder how you’ll get through intact. Imagine having a year that could crush you, but you find a way through it, instead of a way out.
2007, the year I turned 50 was that kind of a year. A year so intense that brought more emotional and physical pain than I have ever known to exist. A year that transported me so far out of my comfort zone and cruelly tossed me into a black hole and abandoned me in eye of the storm. A year that brusquely turned a cold shoulder and said, “Beth – Suffering is life.” Like a one night stand, it left me shocked with no explanation.
Rather than be victimized, I chose to weather the storm. At first, my reaction was to fight, to flee, to escape and to numb out. I didn’t resort to the typical self-destructive methods – although I would have liked to engage in random mindless acts to alleviate the relentless pain and stress. Instead I got help – lots of it.
The break came in late September. A crisp fall day that I remember well. With clarity and determination, I opened the closet door and pulled out my yoga mat. I gently unrolled it. I laid on it not knowing what would happen. I had no plan, no intention. I found myself breathing, sobbing and crying. Release. It was all I could do to calm, to ground and to allow me to feel and be present with all that was iin 2007.
