Recently I was the target of blatant bias. I was defined, labeled and stereotyped in a few quick sentences by a female acquaintance/professional colleague who declared with absolute certainty and I will add absurdity, “When I met you I thought you were a Lesbian.” I asked her why, even though I had a clear idea of what she was going to say. Her succinct reply was, “You have short hair and you’re buff.” I thought that she would stop there and realize her faux pas, but no such luck, she proceeded to claim,” I think you’re butch too!”
Wow – I chewed on her thoughts for a brief moment. I wanted to spit them out right into her mouth like a wad of stale gum, so she could retract them and choke on her words. No such luck. However, thank goodness that I have a delightful sense of humor, which prevented me from doing or saying something that I would immediately regret.
Stunned and quite angry at the ignorance, stupidity and audacity of this woman, I calmly inquired, – “What are you talking about? Just because a woman has short hair and is buff doesn’t make her a Lesbian or butch for that matter! You’re stereotyping me and that is dangerous practice!” Her response, “We all stereotype and judge one another.” Maybe so, we are all human but that’s no excuse for stereotyping.
I thought: How dare someone draw conclusions or make assumptions about my sexual orientation based on my appearance. Yet, this happens all the time. People define others when they can’t even define themselves. They label, judge, assume for many reasons – fear, ignorance, hatred, etc. And yet, here was a smart woman, who I had previously respected, perpetuating a stereotype – and there I was – the recipient.
I realize that while others will label and make assumptions about me – I and only I can define myself. It’s true, I may be a buff woman with short hair – there is so much more to me. If you or someone you know is a target, speak out and fight back with your calm and wise words. If you are stereotyping others – cease fire immediately and take a good look at yourself as to the reasons why.
